PRINCIPLE #2: BONDING

Let's Talk Marriage

Core Principles to Live by for a Happy Successful Marriage

based on a personal compilation

Terry-Ann Scott

Have you watched a love story before where the stars of that story portrays love in such a manner that you cried and even begin to wish that that story was the story of YOUR life? Maybe it even went to the point where you got mad at your spouse because of frustration and the absence of love or the effects thereof in your life. Or. Have you ever been in a restaurant before having a silent meal with your spouse while observing the chemistry of another couple that causes a little head turn now and then?

Well, the primary source for this type of attraction is due to delicate intricacies of bonding. It is important that every couple knows how to connect with each other to eliminate negative and external forces such as loneliness, and to enhance all possibilities of being satisfied, fulfilled and happy in every sense of the word.

In my experience, I have learnt that there are five categories of bonding. They are; Spiritual bonding which is the connection or joining of two spirits achieved through prayer, living the life of true love or other spiritual practices (we looked at this in last week's session), Physical bonding which comes through physical attraction, Emotional & Mental connection which is formed through communication, Sexual Intimacy/fulfillment which comes through intercourse andsocial interaction which is strengthened by all the above.

It is important to bond in all categories and bonding must never be solely based on physical attraction or sexual intimacy We already dealt with spiritual connection last week so lets get going with a few tips to encourage and stimulate the process of bonding in the area of social interaction.

1. Develop a mutual understanding of your spouse avoiding dislikes as much as possible. This is essential for

effective communication.

2. It is important that couples share/develop similar interests that they can indulge in (similar interests makes

things a lot easier as things will flow naturally rather than forcefully). If you find that you and your spouse do not

share the same interest, indulge as often as you can rotating each other's likes or try to develop similar

interests.

3. Find time for each other. This can be with the children if any or by yourself as a couple (both is crucial to family

development). Use this time to indulge in the things you both like and to catch up on long lost time if you have

both grown apart. Find out new things about each other and be keen to observe possible solutions for

obvious or known issues .

4. Have a date night or some other strategy to ensure you both spend alone time together. If time is of the

essence you can start small by making one night each week special and fun that you both look forward to.

Other couples that have more time on their hand can try to spend at least one solid hour alone together

everyday or dedicate more than one days out of the week where all spare time is dedicated to family time.

Bonding strengthens the relationship and once a connection is established it will be obvious as you won't want to be away from each other for a second. Moral of this weeks lesson? Try to become each others best friend. One they will never want to replace. Make that connection stand out. It takes time and work but the end result....just beautiful and you will say "it was worth the sacrifice".

Every marriage has speed bumps every now and then where you have to slow down and take a check before proceeding. These speed bumps are placed there as guides and if we observe carefully, we can make a few heads turn our self (though that is not the mission here lol).

See you next week as we continue with another important factor in principle #3.

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#marriage #love