Your Past Could be Holding You Back

Our personality and behavioral patterns in most case is a reflection of our past and many people do not realize this fact. A part of our personality is formed by establishing learnt behavioural patterns, but another factor which is not very obvious stems from our past.

Whenever a person experiences rejection or hurt in any form, one of the first response is to develop a defense mechanism in order to cope. The hurt individual quickly learns to put this defense mechanism into play each time he/she is hurt. Sooner or later this becomes a mechanical habit embedded into the person’s character/personality.

If keen attention is not given to this, the person may assume that this is a part of their personality and it is normal behaviour for them (that’s just the way they are right?). The problem with this is that many persons form unacceptable or destructive ways to deal with pain and this will sooner or later affect them.

Whenever people are rejected or betrayed, fear becomes one of the first and main response to this. Because of fear, the victim may make a conscious decision to do something differently or to never do something again. This response is registered deep within the mind of that individual and when similar situations arise, the victim’s response becomes automatic to the decision undertaken.

Let’s look at an example. Mary was grown in an environment where she suffered constant abandonment by both parents. She feels rejected, unloved and less valuable as a result of this. As she mature into a woman, she becomes timid and is fearful of relationships of any kind (friendship, marriage etc.) because she believes she is worth nothing to those around her. In efforts to protect herself from future hurts, she becomes withdrawn and isolates herself from others. As she does this over the years, she quickly adopts to this pattern and accepts it as her personality. There are people around her who cares about her deeply, but she is too concerned with protecting herself that she does not realize it. Her company is enjoyed by others whenever she is in their presence, but she is too distracted to recognize this. Her friends may get upset with her because they want to see more of her and spend time with her, but this causes her to withdraw more as she associates an unhappy face with the abandonment she had to deal with in her past. Her friends may not understand what is taking place deep within, but Mary is running from the fear of her friends having to abandoned her again (just as her parents) because she does not see herself valuable. If this fear is not dealt with, Mary may become successful at driving away true love from her.

This is just one situation, but the same principle applies to other situations such as those who grew without their birth parents, suffered abused or loss of any kind including a divorce etc. If this could be you, don’t allow your past to deceive you. It’s time to move on and to experience the life you’ve been dreaming of.

Join me next week for the conclusion as we explore, how to free yourself from your past.

This material has copyright protection. The views expressed in this blog are inspired and belongs to the author, Terry-Ann Scott. Terry-Ann Scott is the Author of seven books including the powerful life changing series entitled, "No More," available on Amazon. Feel free to check them out and also to share your opinion of this blog by leaving a comment below.

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